Prescott Hall, Vermont – A chaotic scene unfolded late last night within the historic boarding school, Prescott Hall, as a heated dispute over a pizza order escalated into a full-blown brawl. Authorities are currently investigating the incident, which has significantly heightened the already strained atmosphere between the school’s three resident faculty members: Dean Teddy Dalton, Coach Hank Washburn, and Dr. Neil Perry.

The incident began shortly after 10:00 PM when Dr. Perry ordered a large pepperoni pizza from the local establishment, “Pete’s Pies.” Witnesses report that a disagreement arose regarding the placement of the pepperoni slices. Dr. Perry, known for his meticulous nature, insisted on a specific arrangement – a “strategic pepperoni distribution,” as he described it – while Coach Washburn vehemently objected, arguing for a more “aggressive” approach.

“Look, I’m just saying, you can’t just scatter them around like confetti,” Washburn reportedly shouted, according to several students who observed the exchange. “A good pizza needs a solid defense. You need a wall of pepperoni!”

The argument quickly spiraled out of control, culminating in a physical altercation involving all three men. A large quantity of pizza, including several slices, was thrown during the brawl. Dean Dalton, who arrived on the scene shortly after, attempted to mediate but was reportedly unsuccessful. “It was…a mess,” Dalton stated in a brief press conference this morning. “A truly regrettable mess. I’ve dealt with worse, of course, but this felt…personal.”

The incident has sent shockwaves through the Prescott Hall community. Students are expressing concern about the escalating tension between the faculty, while some are enjoying the spectacle. “Honestly, it was the most exciting thing to happen here in months,” said sophomore student, Ben Miller. “It’s like they’re finally having a real fight, not just passive-aggressive comments about whose turn it is to clean the dorms.”

Law enforcement officials are currently reviewing security footage and interviewing witnesses. The future of the three faculty members at Prescott Hall remains uncertain, and the school administration is reportedly considering disciplinary action. The “Pizza Fight” is undoubtedly a significant event in the ongoing drama at Prescott Hall.