DEEP WITHIN THE EVERGREEN SWAMP – A protracted and increasingly chaotic dispute between ogre lord Shrek and his loyal, albeit somewhat impulsive, sidekick Donkey escalated into a full-blown, mud-slinging melee this morning, leaving a significant portion of the swamp’s ecosystem coated in thick, viscous clay. Authorities are currently assessing the extent of the damage and attempting to restore order to the normally tranquil environment.

The confrontation began shortly after 8:00 AM, reportedly triggered by a disagreement over the placement of a new batch of firewood. Witnesses report a rapid escalation of tensions between the two, culminating in a protracted exchange of insults and, eventually, a deliberate targeting of each other with large clumps of mud. The initial volley of projectiles quickly spiraled into a coordinated effort, with Donkey utilizing his considerable speed to launch mud balls while Shrek responded with strategically aimed blasts of his own.

“Honestly, it was a bit much,” commented local frog, Bartholomew Higgins, who witnessed the event from his lily pad residence. “One minute they were arguing about logs, the next they were covered head-to-toe in muck. It’s not the most dignified display, to be frank.”

The immediate aftermath saw a widespread disruption to the swamp’s established order. Several families of dragonflies reported a temporary relocation due to the excessive mud, and a colony of particularly sensitive newts expressed deep distress. Local game warden, Angus McTavish, stated, “We’ve had a few skirmishes over the years, mostly involving territorial disputes, but nothing quite on this scale. The sheer volume of mud is… alarming.”

Shrek, speaking briefly to reporters from his makeshift command post (a particularly sturdy log), expressed his frustration. “Look, Donkey gets carried away sometimes,” he grumbled, wiping a streak of mud from his face. “It’s not about the logs, it’s about respect! And frankly, he needs to learn to control his enthusiasm.” Donkey, meanwhile, remained largely silent, occasionally letting out a sheepish “Hee-hee.”

The long-term implications of this incident remain uncertain. Experts are debating whether this represents a fundamental shift in the relationship between the ogre and his companion, or simply a temporary lapse in judgment. Further updates will be provided as the situation develops.