Springfield, IL – Chaos erupted at Staples, Inc. this afternoon as employees Peter Gibbons and Milton Waddams engaged in an impromptu, and frankly bizarre, dance-off triggered by an unusually intense burst of fluorescent lighting. The event, which occurred during a particularly slow afternoon shift, has sent ripples of confusion and mild alarm through the office, raising questions about workplace stress and the potentially destabilizing effects of prolonged exposure to artificial light.

Witnesses report that the incident began around 2:17 PM CST. According to several accounts, a malfunctioning ballast in the main overhead lighting system produced a sudden, blinding flash followed by a pulsating, almost rhythmic flicker. Peter Gibbons, already known for his generally disengaged demeanor, reportedly began to move involuntarily, initially mimicking a series of increasingly frantic gestures. Milton Waddams, previously described as a volatile and generally unpleasant individual, quickly joined in, executing a surprisingly complex routine that included elements of the Macarena and what appeared to be a modified version of the Charleston.

“It was… unsettling,” commented Brenda Bergey, a data entry clerk who observed the event from her workstation. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Peter just started flailing, and Milton was… surprisingly coordinated. It was like a fever dream.”

The dance-off continued for approximately 90 seconds before the lights returned to normal. Following the event, Mr. Gibbons was reportedly sent home without pay, a standard procedure for employees exhibiting “unexplained behavioral anomalies.” Mr. Waddams, however, was placed on immediate, indefinite suspension pending further evaluation.

Human Resources Manager, Gary Simms, released a brief statement stating, “We are investigating the circumstances surrounding Mr. Gibbons’ and Mr. Waddams’ actions. While we appreciate employees expressing themselves creatively, disruptive behavior is not tolerated. We’re also reviewing our lighting maintenance schedule – a thorough inspection is scheduled for tomorrow.”

The incident has reignited ongoing concerns regarding the psychological impact of the monotonous office environment at Staples, Inc. Experts suggest the flickering lights may have exacerbated pre-existing tensions and contributed to a cascade of unusual behavior. The long-term effects of this “lumens overload,” as some employees are calling it, remain to be seen.