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San Francisco Shaken by Simulated Seismic Event – Zorin Overlords Report ‘Minor Disruptions’

San Francisco, CA – A meticulously orchestrated seismic simulation conducted by Thorn Industries, spearheaded by its enigmatic CEO Zorin Specter, caused significant disruption across the city today, leaving authorities scrambling to assess the aftermath and prompting speculation about the organization’s motives. The event, officially labeled a “geo-engineering stress test,” triggered a series of tremors and simulated building collapses, impacting both public and private infrastructure.

The simulation began at precisely 14:17 PST, utilizing a network of strategically placed seismic sensors and controlled explosions designed to mimic a major earthquake. Initial reports indicate a 6.8 magnitude tremor, although the intensity was artificially amplified to create a realistic scenario. The most visible effects were concentrated in the Financial District and surrounding areas. Several high-rise buildings experienced simulated structural failures, with exterior facades crumbling and interior spaces appearing to shift. Traffic ground to a halt as roadways buckled and bridges swayed.

“It was… unsettling,” commented Officer Miller, a San Francisco Police Department spokesperson. “We received dozens of calls reporting strange noises and feeling of instability. The scale of the simulated damage was genuinely frightening.”

Thorn Industries representatives, speaking through a carefully worded statement released this afternoon, characterized the event as “a necessary step in evaluating potential vulnerabilities” and assured the public that “minor disruptions” were being managed. However, sources within the city’s emergency management services claim the situation escalated beyond initial projections.

“We’ve seen a significant uptick in power outages and communication disruptions,” stated a senior official, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And let’s be frank, the sheer number of people reporting feeling… watched… is concerning.”

Adding to the unease, a cryptic message attributed to Mr. Specter was broadcast across several local radio frequencies shortly after the simulation concluded. The message, consisting of a single, repeated phrase – “The earth remembers” – has fueled speculation about the organization’s long-term goals.

“I’ve been monitoring this operation for weeks,” said local seismologist Dr. Evelyn Reed, speaking to our reporters. “The precision and the scale… it’s not just about testing buildings. It’s about testing the city’s response, its resilience. And frankly, it feels like a prelude to something larger.”

The city remains on high alert, and authorities are currently investigating the extent of the simulated damage and the potential implications of Thorn Industries’ actions. Further updates will be provided as they become available.

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