HAVANA, FLORIDA – A bizarre and frankly baffling incident unfolded earlier this afternoon at the maximum-security Havana Penitentiary, resulting in a significant disruption to the prison’s routine and leaving one inmate visibly distressed. According to multiple sources, Frank Drebin, a notorious career criminal serving a 25-year sentence for aggravated assault, experienced a catastrophic malfunction involving his meticulously styled toupee during the midday chow hall meal.

The incident began, as many do at Havana Penitentiary, with a noticeable delay in the distribution of mashed potatoes. Witnesses report a tense atmosphere, punctuated by the low murmurs of disgruntled inmates. It was during this period of heightened anticipation that Frank Drebin, known for his flamboyant style and, reportedly, a significant investment in his personal appearance, began to exhibit signs of distress. Suddenly, with a sound described by one guard as “a sort of wet ripping,” the inmate’s signature, lime-green toupee detached itself from his head and became airborne, scattering across the chow hall.

“It was like a green rain,” recounted correctional officer Barry Higgins, visibly shaken. “One minute he was calmly attempting to secure his meal, the next, *poof*, a vibrant explosion of hair. Honestly, it was the most exciting thing that’s happened here in years.”

The immediate aftermath involved a chaotic scramble by inmates to avoid being pelted by the rogue hairpiece. Several prisoners were seen attempting to collect the displaced strands, citing a bizarre desire to preserve a piece of the “legend.” Prison Warden O’Malley issued a brief statement, urging calm and assuring the public that “all available resources are being utilized to ensure the safety and order of the facility.” He declined to comment on the potential implications of the incident on Drebin’s ongoing legal proceedings.

Drebin himself was reportedly devastated by the loss of his toupee, stating, “It wasn’t just hair, people! It was *style*. It was *status*! Now I’m just… bald. It’s a disaster, a complete and utter disaster!”

The incident has prompted a review of prison hair care protocols, with officials considering stricter regulations and possibly even mandatory wig inspections. The long-term impact on Drebin’s reputation, and the wider prison community, remains to be seen.