A chaotic scene unfolded in the heart of Oakhaven this afternoon as a previously contained anger management session at “Dave’s Lanes” spiraled out of control, resulting in significant property damage and a temporary city-wide lockdown. The incident, which began shortly after 2:00 PM, has left authorities scrambling to assess the damage and determine the long-term impact on the city’s emotional well-being.

Initial reports indicate that Dave Chappelle, a participant in the “Anger Management” program run by Dr. Buddy Vogel, experienced a severe emotional outburst following a particularly challenging lane. Witnesses described a rapid escalation, with Mr. Chappelle systematically destroying bowling equipment – pins, lanes, even the vintage pinsetter – using a variety of implements, including a bowling ball and a nearby stool.

“It was… intense,” recounted Mildred Henderson, a waitress at a nearby diner who witnessed the initial stages of the rampage. “He just started yelling, and then… well, the pins just started flying. It was like something out of a bad dream.”

Police were quickly dispatched to the scene, but their efforts to subdue Mr. Chappelle proved largely ineffective. The situation deteriorated further when Dr. Vogel attempted to intervene, reportedly engaging in a heated exchange with Mr. Chappelle before being physically restrained.

Following the incident, a city-wide lockdown was implemented, closing schools, businesses, and public transportation. Emergency services are currently focusing on securing the bowling alley and providing support to those affected, including the numerous patrons and staff present at the time.

“He just kept saying, ‘I’m not angry, I’m just… expressing myself,’” stated Officer Miller, who was on the scene. “It’s a difficult situation, to be honest. You try to help people, but sometimes… sometimes they just need a place to let it all out.”

The long-term consequences of this event remain to be seen. City officials are considering implementing additional support services for anger management patients and reviewing the program’s protocols. Dr. Vogel has issued a brief statement expressing regret for the “unforeseen circumstances” and assuring the public that the program will be temporarily suspended for review. As of this reporting, Mr. Chappelle remains in police custody, awaiting evaluation.